all the day long

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(A bath with Ivy in the twilight while the Husband holds down game night)

 

Know why I’m so obsessed with these everyday moments? Why they’re so immensely powerful and exquisite to me? Because I am well aware this isn’t the life the enemy wanted for me.

Because this house and these babies, and this man of mine, this life we live with food on the table, and soft pillows and safe places… none of this was garaunteed for me (or him really but that’s his story to tell). I know how hard this was fought for, and I know I wasn’t the only one fighting for it. And I don’t just feel victorious, (though I do feel pretty victorious), I feel won, worth winning. Redeemed, worthy of the cost of that. I see that in the faces of my babies, my growing young men, my girls, that God thought them worthy of a life of peace and so He fought for them, (and me). That Jesus felt us worthy of a life of Love and so He died for us.

I don’t think myself a very religious person, but this courses through my veins all the time, I feel it. “You did it, baby girl” rings true in late night moments marveling with my sisters over all the shit we came through. Death and dying and decay has nipped our heels since childhood. Serpents slithered much too close, heavy handed demons… listen this post isn’t about all that but it is.

People talk all the time about the moment they were saved, I’ve been being saved forever. I’ve been being saved forever. My babies have been being saved forever. And all these little ordinary things… these millions of moments strung together, pulling clean sheets from the dryer, teaching Eli to crack an egg, brushing Emma’s hair, listening to Gracie belt out another song, Gabe’s string bean arm hugs, Griff’s midnight tea-making, Ivy’s bathtime splashes, Joe ever and always taking me on this date or that, morning light on our messy floors, all the meals and the snuggles and the sweetness… these are not vein attempts at projecting a life of perfection. They’re simply the best way I know how to say Thanks.

This is my story, this is my song…

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